Making Decisions

Trail with fence smMy goal in this life has been to lead by example, to provide answers that really work, and for my own life to work well.  The act of walking away from a painful past provided the needed confidence to continue making the hard choices.  The examples provided by my parents and the adults in my early life were consistently poor and not worth following.  Time and again their selfish choices allowed badness access to us children and our home.  Instead of learning about security, trust and friendship the formative years of my life were spent learning shame and fear.  The emotional healing needed has come but the price has been painful and the emotional wounds heal, oh, so slowly.

In my life providence has led me one little step at a time, each step a small decision to surrender self, to trust just a little more, to acknowledge the impact of my choices on those close to me.  The Father has moved me forward one tiny decision at a time.  One choice at a time, His healing work has continued in my life.  Turning around to view the steep rugged road we have traversed together I can see His small steps have made the upward path bearable.  I am not who I was, the confusion and pain surrounding my early life has been replaced with acceptance and love, His love flows through me enriching my life as it lights up the world around us.

My life could have been so different.  Small decisions that seemed so insignificant at the time in retrospect were major events for change.  The most valuable advice I can share with anyone facing one of life’s big questions is to stop looking at yourself and the benefit you will gain and determine how best you can serve others with the life you have and the choice you are about to make.  Tomorrow is not ours to control, the good done today is our store of joy for the unknown road ahead.  True joy and happiness are ours when we finally surrender to the greatest truth ever given: The only life worth living is one given in service for others.

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