Dara Dietz Blog

The decision has been made, you want to make a difference in the world.   Choosing to expand yourself beyond the small circle of family and friends who make up your community.  How does it feel?  What does it mean to stand up?  It means to recognize and answer the call when it comes.  Often the appeal is first heard as a quiet thought or conviction of heart.  These are easily ignored or blown off as a passing whim for many, but to those who have chosen over and again to “Rise & Shine” when called, the passing whisper of thought is enough.  They take hold of the good to be done charting the road for others to follow in their wake.

Regardless how few or how many talents we possess, we each have the ability to largely impact the world for good or evil.  A lowly birth or limited means in this life in no wise limit the ability of an individual to leave a deep, lasting mark in the world.

The amount of good flowing from a single life when surrendered to the Father’s use is truly astounding.  Humble means, simple beginnings have been the spring board for many of the greatest men who have walked through history.  Men and women whose influence is still felt long years after their minds and voices have ceased to bless this world.

Choosing from their earliest years to bless others they possessed an innate willingness to stand and make a difference.  Accepting their lot in life with an open heart and willing hands to do good whenever possible seems to be the common denominator among the men and women who have blessed the world with their lives.  Only in eternity will we understand how the choices we made affected for good or for evil those around us, leaving our mark in the world to impact future generations until the close of time.

True greatness does not wait for an opening opportunity or ask for directions. Repeated experience has shown over and again the way to begin is just to begin.  The Father will open the way when that first step is taken out into the great unknown.  Greatness finds the way has been marked out one step at a time.  He finds he is walking in the footsteps of a King.

All of life must be grown into.  Emotional and Mental muscles must be developed and strengthened through use.  We call them habits but what is a habit really.  It is the development through use of an emotional or mental ability.

We choose to accept the gift of care from another.  In return we have learned how it feels to be cared for.  The choice is now available to choose to bestow the care you enjoyed on someone else.  The process sounds so simple, something we do every day.  Yet how many have grown up in homes where no one had a concern for them or offered them a caring thought.  A Child now an adult has yet to experience their first caring act.

I want to live unafraid with my heart wide open. I want to see the beauty in everyone with eyes wide open and filled with understanding.  I hold out my hands to the world filled with all the good they can hold.  If I fail to do all the good I can by closing myself off to those around me my ability to do good will atrophy and die. Unable to love, feel or live I rust.  Just as arms and legs must move to maintain strength so my heart and mind must receive love and give love or they too will degenerate, losing the ability to love.

We cheat ourselves from so much good through fear of being short changed or used.  So what!  Bring it on!  Living life means you will experience the bad right along with the good.  The Father know exactly what experiences are needed by each of us.

Fearing someone will misuse or abuse the love I hold in an open hand to the world is not living well.  Choosing to do my best for each person regardless how they accept or reject my good intentions, this is living well.  I will pass this way but once.  My intention is to do good, to bless, to bring healing to the broken.  The outcome I choose to leave with my Father.

No one is with anyone anymore.  It used to be fun watching how people interacted together but those days are gone.  I was watching a lively group of friends exit the same car each was talking or texting, completely ignoring the society surrounding them.  Over and over again it was the same, setting at tables in the restaurant whole families, each member silently tapping away on their cell phones.  Everyone seemed to have something to say just not, apparently, to anyone at their table.

What has amazed me is no one appears offended or embarrassed.  Ignoring present company would seem to be downright rude or at the least in poor taste, unless all in company share an unspoken agreement.  This would seem to be the case.

A single friend beginning a new relationship shared how her date spent the entire evening texting or talking on his cell phone but still expected the rewards of an intimate date.  No connection required. Have we stopped showing up even for the fun stuff?

Life is all about showing up.   How many of us have stopped showing up.  Wherever we are we’re on the cell texting or talking.  Life is happening right in front of us but we miss it because we are looking down.  We are somewhere else.  How boring is it to have someone in your pocket 24\7.  There is nothing new to share when you are side by side breathing the same air.

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I remember how much fun it used to be to have a girl’s night out to catch up.  We’d share the new stuff in our lives.  The words that passed between us were full of life, our facial expressions and tone of voice added depth to our words.  During the evening together an emotional connection was made.  The warmth of that connection stayed in our hearts long after our visit was over.  It’s called making memories.

It has been some time since I sat down with the intent of writing a new thing, allowing the truth in me about my life to flow.  My life has been in flux, many changes and new realizations.  Truth can be painful, the truth about myself is much easier to ignore than embrace.  What is this truth?  Even now as it flows from me the distastefulness of owning this part of me begs leave to be heard.

I’ve been dealing with feelings of depression, anger, and the urgent desire to lash out at… what?  Will I ever allow myself to know what is driving me?  Must I continue blindly on with all this emotional confusion never knowing why?

Both my parents are now dead.  My Father passed a few months ago, my mother nearly 10 years ago.  My initial reaction is good riddance to all the badness they created.  Watching the lives of my siblings, each one so broken, yet they seem so unaware of the evil done to them.  The insidiousness of our parents’ refusal deal with their emotional issues infected each of us. Spending our formative years in constant company with these emotionally sick adults warped our perceptions making what a heathy individual would understand to be atrocious behavior a common place occurrence in our lives.  Our children and grandchildren are showing the twisted brokenness of a soul misused and abused.  Who has done this to these little ones.

The healing that has come into my life over the past 30 years has not been achieved without cost.  The biggest cost has been that of discovering or at least to some degree discovering how deep the rabbit hole of debauchery extends within my family.  I’ve also learned a few things about broken people; as long as they are comfortable in their lives, regardless how broken, they will refuse to change or acknowledge their need for change.  More often than not the pain of life must become overwhelming before we are driven to our knees or to the office of a qualified counselor.

The loss of the intimate ties of family became necessary as my healing journey has emotionally separated me from the people and environment I grew up in.  Conversation topics and daily occurrences that were once common have become unbearably distasteful.   Those who have failed to work on themselves no longer fit in my life. They are missed.

There are no easy answers or fitting tripe replies to smooth over these issues.  The loss is real.  The inability to help is frustrating.  The Serenity prayer so many have used seems fitting here but still of no real help.  Yes, I accept the thing I cannot change.  The wisdom to know the difference came years ago. The only person I can truly affect or change is me.  The changes in my life have served to irritate those who refuse to work on themselves while attracting those who have.

So why the depression and anger?  My life is good, I’ve been so blessed.  The death of my father opened a door to the past allowing a flood of its badness to wash into my life.  I’ve been awash in all the “should haves” and “could have’s”.  Time to let it all go once again, shut the door, and move on.

My healing Journey continues, part of my healing process was done when I shared my story,  Whatever Good May Come. The Book is available as an Audio, Kindle or Paperback copy.